The Power of Modeling: How to Help Your Child Build Executive Functioning Skills

Executive functioning (EF) is like your brain’s management system. It helps us plan, stay organized, shift gears, solve problems, and regulate emotions. These aren’t just academic skills—they’re life skills. But for many children with developmental differences, executive functioning doesn’t come naturally. And if you’re a parent, you’ve probably said (or thought), “I just don’t know how to teach this—it’s so invisible!” That’s where modeling comes in. By narrating your own thought process and making these "hidden" skills visible, you give your child a powerful roadmap. No worksheets, no apps—just your voice, presence, and daily moments that build real-life skills.

Why Modeling Executive Functioning Works

Executive functioning happens inside our heads. That makes it tough for kids to learn just by watching. So when you narrate your thinking out loud, you externalize the process—you make the invisible, visible.

This simple shift allows your child to:

• See how you approach a task or solve a problem

• Understand that even adults need strategies

• Hear the self-talk and planning language they can one day use themselves

And as a bonus? Modeling often helps you slow down and problem-solve more calmly, too.

What Executive Functioning Skills Can I Model?

You can model just about any EF-related process by thinking out loud in a supportive way. Start with:

• Planning and prioritizing – What needs to happen first, next, and last?

• Time management – How much time do we have? What’s realistic?

• Organization – Where do things go? How can I keep track?

• Flexibility – What do I do when things don’t go as planned?

• Problem solving – What are my options? What might work?

• Impulse control – How do I pause and choose a response?

• Working memory – What steps do I need to remember?

Real-Life Script Examples

Script #1: Changing Plans

EF Skills: Flexibility + Emotional Regulation

“Hmm, we were going to go to the park, but it’s raining now. I’m feeling a little disappointed—it’s okay to feel that. Let me think of something else that might be fun… maybe we could go to the library or play a game inside. I’m going to take a breath and make a new plan.”

🧠 What it models:

• Recognizing emotions

• Adapting to change

• Generating backup plans

Script #2: Getting Out the Door

EF Skills: Planning + Organization

“Okay, we’re leaving in 10 minutes. Let me think through what we need… First, I’ll grab my keys and wallet. Next, I’ll check the weather—ooh, it’s chilly, so we’ll need jackets. I’ll pack a snack in case we get hungry. That’s three things: keys, jackets, snacks. I’m saying it out loud so I don’t forget.”

🧠 What it models:

• Sequencing tasks

• Time awareness

• Prioritizing steps

Script #3: Making a Mistake

EF Skills: Problem Solving + Self-Talk

“Oh no, I spilled my coffee! That’s frustrating. Okay… first, I’ll get some paper towels. Then I’ll clean it up. Next time I’ll put my mug a little farther from the edge. Accidents happen—it’s not the end of the world. I can handle this.”

🧠 What it models:

• Staying calm

• Step-by-step problem solving

• Reflecting for next time

Parent Tips for Modeling EF

• Keep it short and authentic. No need for a script—just your natural voice.

• Use a calm, steady tone. You’re showing—not telling—how to think.

• Don’t expect a response. You’re planting seeds, not quizzing.

• Start small. Neutral moments like getting ready, cooking, or organizing are perfect.

• Be consistent. The more they hear your thinking, the more familiar it becomes.

Why This Matters

When your child hears you make a plan, manage frustration, or recover from a mistake, they start to understand that these are skills—not something you’re just born with. They learn that it's okay to struggle and that strategies can help. Over time, your child begins to internalize your words as their own.

That’s the magic of modeling.

How Kinspire Helps with Executive Functioning

At Kinspire, our occupational therapists support families in building executive functioning skills through real-life, everyday coaching. We don’t just work with your child—we guide you to model, support, and reinforce these invisible skills in the moments that matter most. From morning routines to meltdowns to homework resistance, we’re in your corner with tools that actually work.

You’re not in this alone.

👉 Book a free consultation to get matched with a dedicated OT who will help your child—and your whole family—grow stronger together.